What kind of messed up world do we live in where it’s become socially unacceptable to get upset?
photo by andlynx on sxc.hu
We’ve been taught that it is a sign of weakness to throw a tantrum and express our frustrations. And there are times and places where that’s true. But have we become so proud of our ability to hold it in that we take it too far?
If young men die and children bleed, does shrugging our shoulders at it make us feel cool?
If we’re spied on 24/7, and someone calls it like it is – do we rationalize why they should have kept their head down?
At age 12, I went to middle school for the first time. I was elated to hang out with the same kids I knew from church my whole life. We hung out every weekend, spent the night at each others houses, played Playstation till midnight, and slashed through the woods with sticks pretending they were swords.
But the environment was different at school. The game had changed, and everyone knew it but me. It was there I first discovered that people can be dishonest to themselves in order to please others.
Your weekend friends might not be the same as your school friends.
That’s not to say I was perfect. I was a pretty selfish son of a mother. While I don’t take responsibility for things I never could have known about, I do take full responsibility for learning as much as possible so that I can understand social pressures and relationships.
For about 6 months, I was pretty much an exile. I had one friend from elementary school, and he kept to himself. Thank God for J.R.R. Tolkien, Brian Jacques, and countless other writers whose books kept me alive when I had nothing to look forward to.
In all those stories, there was evil running rampant. It was easy to see who to root for. While real life isn’t always that easy, what happens when we run into a moral grey area? We’ve been taught not to get angry, not to get upset.
At home, I couldn’t even grunt at something without an angry parent warning me ‘Don’t you dare show anger in this house’.
A blogger was born.
Ignoring Emotions Makes You Weak
Anger is a symptom. Happiness is a symptom. Bliss is a symptom. They shouldn’t cause us to react, but emotions are often what causes us to do anything worth doing.
Without curiosity, who would visit other countries?
Without fear of loss. who would work to develop a cure for a terrible disease?
Without happiness, how do we know what to replicate in our lives on a daily basis?
We’ve been taught that emotions are the enemy, when they may be the very thing that allow us to stand up and face real enemies. Managing emotions isn’t the same as denying them. Ignoring a warning sign in your soul doesn’t make you strong.
We live in a world crafted to ignore emotions.
When the boss wants twenty widgets produced an hour, he can’t allow for such foolish things as desperation, giddiness, or shame – so he acts like you’re weak because you see – and feel – that two plus two equals four. Don’t expect him to say he’s sorry, he’s spent so long believing that ‘sorry’ doesn’t exist, that he’s drunk on his own juice box.
Pity him. He’s found great influence with words and wealth, but lost his humanity.
Emotions Can Cut Through the Lies
Just because someone else is more eloquent than us, that doesn’t make them right.
Just because the discussion has been framed for us – so we can’t see outside of the perspectives being taught – that doesn’t mean that we should let ‘experts’ make the tough decisions on our behalf.
Just because there’s nothing ‘they’ can do, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do.
Normally I try to write something really useful – a how to kind of thing. Something that’s really practical, and makes your life better. If you’re still reading this, you may be thinking of your own emotions, and you may be feeling some guilt.
That boss who wants twenty widgets an hour? He may have been permanently imprinted onto your mind. He’s pissed right now, because emotions make things inconsistent, they mess up your schedule, and short-circuit your deadlines. He wants you to get six hours sleep tonight instead of eight, so you can make up for your outburst – your imperfection.
Screw him.
Those imperfections may be the only real reason for doing anything productive at all. They may be the only thing between you and slavery. They may be what causes you to reject the grey area, and turn it white as snow.