There is something terrifying about not being able to go anywhere.
Unemployed.
Paralyzed.
The cartoonish definitions of Hell, (and even Heaven) – seem pretty unattractive from this perspective.
Can you imagine being on a cloud, being able to do nothing but play a harp – Watching your loved ones screw up, get into car wrecks, choose the wrong partners, and eat another Nachos Bell Grande? Oh COME ON!
That stuck feeling is captured so well in the Rime of the Ancient Mariner:
If you’re planning on starting a business it’s great, but even if you’re not, there’s still a reason you’re here.
For me, it’s writing – I enjoy that more than anything (except maybe travel).
I could choose to not write any book UNLESS another world-shifting idea comes along like Emotionally Bulletproof. But if I did that, my skills at writing would get so rusty that when that next idea came around, I wouldn’t be able to share it in the best way possible. So, in the meantime, I’ll write a lot to keep momentum going, and a lot of it will be entertainment focused.
For you it may be writing, or something completely different.
If years have gone by without you taking that first step, it’s time to put together a plan that works this part of your desires into your life. Even if you don’t know exactly what it is, you still have an idea of some things that you LIKE to do, but aren’t doing.
I’m not asking you to stop everything. Just find a way to put in even 15 minutes a day into it. It’s less about how much that 15 minutes will do for you, and more about how the action itself gets you moving.
Then you’re no longer unstuck, you’re going forward. Even if all you do is walk, walking consistently can take you to many places if you do it long enough. And you have to leave the house to find a bike, and you may need to ride a bike to find a bus…
You know the drill.
When you build momentum, you are better at Getting the Job Done, which is 1/3 of what you need to be 100% trustworthy.
Stay strong, compañeros.
-D
P.S. The school of greatness podcast is a great thing to listen to while driving (until I have audiobooks, Buahahaha). I’ve even done some work for Lewis Howes, and really like the direction he’s going with his platform.
Hundred of people apply to the Radio-Film-TV program at University of Texas every year.
Many of them do this because they want to learn to direct.
Hopefully, whether they get in or not, they will learn the real truth about valuable skills: It doesn’t work that way.
Directing is not a skill. It is a combination of skills.
A novice can look at Face/Off and think, ‘Man, I could never direct like John Woo. He is SO much better than I’ll ever be.’
Directing is not just directing. It is audio recording, cinematography, writing, storytelling, location scouting, organizational leadership, scheduling, human resources, set design, shot choices, editing, special effects, lighting. I could go on.
If you were asked to direct, it could put you in panic mode.
However, if I asked you to read a book about writing, and you learned that most plots have a three-act structure, you’d be better at writing stories.
If you spent a day on an independent film set listening to a sound engineer, hearing her explain that you have to record a few takes of background noise on each shooting location, to mix into the movie later when all you have are the recorded voices and a soundtrack, you’d know more than before.
You’d be that much better at sound recording.
So, since you just got better at writing and sound recording, and those two skills make up the multi-disciplined craft of directing, you became a better director. It’s still scary, but you closed the gap – just a little bit.
Advertising and marketing is no different. There are multiple skills involved.
Being a team player
Coming up with ideas
Determining which ideas have enough merit to pursue
Developing those ideas
Working with the client (especially if you own your own agency or are an account exec)
You may even need to know CRM, Graphic Design, Market Research, A/B testing… AAAH!!
If you get anything out of this post, it should be this: If you find yourself paralyzed with how much farther you have to go in order to achieve your true calling, break that calling down into chunks small enough to handle.
I am no expert blogger, but if you combine this blog with an earlier blog, and some freelance posts I’ve done helping other businesses, I’ve written over 100 posts! A few years ago, I didn’t think I’d get that far. And I know I’ve got a long way to go!
So you do. So break it down, and do what you can in a few days, or a week.
Do you want to change yourself? If so, you look to examples of other people who have. Some of these people don’t exist, but they are real to you anyway.
That’s right, I’m talking about books, movies, videogames, and stories of all kinds.
Most big stories involve character change. We recognize that change is a part of life – a part of life that should be handled as intentionally as possible.
There are 3 layers to characters. They mirror reality in how well we know the men and women who pass by and interact with us each day. I’ll give examples for each to show how simple, yet deep, this is.
1. One Dimensional – Just the facts.
Do I really need to describe it when I can just show you instead?
I am a writer and I write. The butcher chops meat. The student studies. The jock wrestles varsity in the heavyweight class.
2. Two Dimensional – There is a reason behind the action.
Everybody does what they do for a reason.
I am a cop because my father was a cop. I start businesses to make a profit because I grew up in a poor household, and don’t want my family to suffer like I did. I volunteer at a homeless shelter because I want to help those who have nothing.
3. Three-Dimensional – There is a purpose that justifies my reasoning.
Now you’re getting somewhere. Now we not only see the reason behind the action, but the reason for the reason. At this level, you start to really know/love/hate a person.
I bribe people to pass laws that favor me because I don’t want any competition – I am afraid that if other people could compete on the same level as me, the world would find out that I’m not really that smart/wise/creative/competent/superior-by-birth.
I start businesses to make a profit because I don’t want my family to grow up poor like I did – because being trapped and powerless is scarier than death, and I would not wish it on anyone.
I read the Bible every day, even though it sometimes confuses me, because I realize the Being who cares more for me than anyone else is God; pursuing the only relationship that really matters will bring the most fulfillment.
It’s the key to great heroes and villains.
We don’t have time to give every person on the street three dimensions. Way too much to keep track of. Somewhere in an underground base, a government computer is short-circuiting.
Nor can stories have all three dimensional characters, at least not without it being a very small world (Tom Hanks in Castaway is a good example). We need first, second, and third dimension characters.
In the end, the story is about the third-dimensional character. That’s the guy with the sword who we identify with. That’s the lady with the bow and arrow.
The problem is that we often don’t allocate the time to see our own selves as three dimensional characters. Yet we absolutely must if we want to experience the same level of change that we see as necessary – and crave in our favorite stories.
Change is Good
For a long time, psychology treated these underlying our motivations as tracks that have already been laid by past experiences. They couldn’t be changed. While it’s true that we can’t undo the past, it is a lie to believe that what happened to you in the past will shape and determine the rest of your life.
Many of the great stories either involve a hero accomplishing his goal despite everything set against them, or a character who goes through a change.
The deeper the change, the more powerful your story.
So What About You?
Think back to the last time you made a mistake with your job. If you’re anything like me, you don’t have to think back too far. 🙂
First dimension: What did you do?
Second dimension: Why did you do it?
Third dimension: Why was your answer in the second dimension so important that you acted out?
Example:
I took 20 minutes with my break instead of 15.
Why? Because the boss makes me work later.
Why do you think he’s making you work later? Because I’m too afraid to say no to her. What if I get fired?!
So, in this example, taking a longer break would allow you to express just enough discontent to not get fired, but enough to vent your frustrations and feel like you’re getting SOME of your time back. Right?
If you had a character in a book that did this, and the author articulated exactly why they did it, you would totally understand and relate. You’d read on to know more about this character even if nothing has happened yet.
By understanding the deeper motivations, and then choosing to script your own deeper motivation, you’ll become more effective.
Eventually, you’ll come to the conclusion that you need to establish some boundaries, but in a helpful and tactful way. And if getting fired is still a concern, then you’ll ask why and learn that IF you get fired – yes – it will suck. But you know what? If you’re tough enough to have a difficult conversation with your boss, you’re also tough enough to find a better job. Chances are, it won’t even get that far anyway.
The Third Dimension is Tough!
You’ll look in the wrong places. You’ll probably have to think. You may even need to talk it over with trusted advisers or friends. In my opinion, that’s what trusted advisers are for.
When you find a better third dimension, you’ll have a better second dimension, and therefore, you’ll take more effective actions.
In the end, your own life will be a story worth telling.
Have you ever seen yourself as a third dimensional character? How do you think it will change the way you interact with the world around you? Let me know in the comments!
You may have noticed that the people who need to learn something the most are the ones least interested in learning it.
The common phrase you’ll hear if promote your helpful idea to them?
“Yeah, I really Should Do That…”
If you hear this phrase, you’ve missed the mark. Sure, you’ve identified a need, and the people who have that need, but just because you’ve set up an archery target facing East, that doesn’t mean pointing your bow and arrow East will guarantee a hit. You’ve got to aim better.
How do we do that?
Let’s look at spirituality, where I’ll ask you a controversial question:
Who needs God the least?
It’s a trick question, because everyone needs God. If you read my blog, you’ve likely come to a similar conclusion.
In the Bible, it does mention those who THINK they need God the least:
“You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” Revelation 3:17 NIV
Most of the People Who Need Your Product Don’t Care
Those who believe they have it all are less likely to seek answers. If you think you’re healthy, why would you go to the doctor? This is why Jesus mainly took his message to those who were down and out.
This idea may change the way you see marketing and product design forever. It may even change the way you teach others.
Most the people you want to reach won’t give a damn what you have to offer them.
They’ll walk right past it because they are focused on something else.
Most people don’t buy batteries until their flashlight runs out of power.
Most people don’t buy candy until they are about to check out of the supermarket.
And they won’t buy something to drink unless they are thirsty.
Since most people won’t be ready to take advantage of your world changing idea, you need to focus on the small chunk of people who are desperate.
Focus on the Desperate People
Desperate people need answers, and they need them NOW.
So focus on them, and make sure you that you help solve their problem better than any other product out there.
There are many people who recognize that they are pitiful, poor, blink, and naked in some area. They’ll invest in something that will help them.
But Will You Run Out of Desperate People?
As long as the problem exists, people will always need a solution. So, in most cases, no.
There is a cycle that your market will go through.
I need it but I don’t care
I really should get it, but [insert objection here]
CATASTROPHE/Reflection
I’ll listen and buy in
Each phase in the cycle has a large group of people. Once you’ve helped the ‘I’ll listen’ folks, the people who are reflecting on a recent catastrophe will realize they need what you have.
By the time every group has moved to ‘I’ll listen’, your cycle will be refreshed with new people.
Don’t spend your energy on those who don’t care.
And unless there’s no other way, don’t prey on people right after a catastrophe, because that demonstrates that you value being right over actually solving their problems.
Focus on those who are ready. You’ll gain traction, and get enough positive feedback to stay in business until you reach the other people. By then, you’ve built word of mouth, you have a brand, and you’ve positioned yourself.
You’re the first person they’ll go to, and you’ll change the world, just like you wanted to.
Last month I got a letter from my landlord – one of these big impersonal companies that has many apartment complexes. For all I know, the person who owns it all might not even be from Texas, or the U.S.
In the letter, it said that I can choose my rent price.
The problem? All their options were at least $50 per month more than what I was currently paying.
Fear struck.
Fear? Why now? I’ve moved eight times since 2008. Multiple states, and at least 3 countries. Why would I be scared of a simple move now?
In the middle of my freaking out, I took this opportunity to apply what was written in this previous post.
Get more information to understand the problem –
– and get moving.
Austin is a bubble of craziness in America. It’s one of the few real estate markets in the U.S. that continues to ignore the Wall Street Journal and MSNBC – the housing market keeps going up, up, up. Even after the recession, Austin’s population grows faster than contractors can build. How was I going to keep prices low, and have a story completely different than the one being told for me?
With my delivery job, I had visited nearly every apartment complex in a 5 mile radius – many times. Combine that with my past experience being a Realtor, and my business education, and I was someone who could actually do something. Maybe it wouldn’t be much, but it might be enough.
I visited several apartment complexes and got quotes. Most of them were higher than what I was paying. Then I found two – both were closer to town.
One was over 100 sq feet less than what I currently had.
The other? superior in every way. I got on the waiting list for this one and then attempted to renegotiate with my landlord.
The landlord had an assistant who had zero business experience. You could see it in the way he carried himself. He was four to five rungs down in this big, plastic ladder.
I remembered the whole time to keep my cool, be polite, avoid ultimatums. I even offered to pay multiple months of rent in advance as leverage.
He pulled market pricing excuses (which were hard to cross reference, where did he get this info?) then looked at this big 3-ring binder filled with Excel spreadsheets. Then he countered to raise my rent a hundred dollars higher than the increased price their letter started with.
Bad negotiating.
You could say I ‘lost’. Sometimes a system is structured so you end up ‘negotiating’ with someone who doesn’t have the ‘authority’ to do anything. So many people are ‘just doing their job’ in a compartmentalized existence for faceless brand symbols pursuing false idols, leaving real human beings exposed to the damage left behind…but I digress.
By getting on a waiting list earlier, and not waiting until the last minute – I had options baby!
I signed a lease yesterday with one that will actually cost around 40 dollars LESS per month than what I’m already paying. It’s closer to town, is in a gated community, and has larger square footage. Combine that with the 50$ price increase I would have paid, I saved around 800$, including moving expenses.
Lucky? Maybe. But if I hadn’t reached out for more information, and if I hadn’t continued to take small steps forward, no amount of luck in the world would have made a difference.
So I lost the negotiation, but beat the victim mentality and got what I wanted. A way to keep costs down and continue to build momentum in a place I enjoy living.
Have you had any victories against the victim mentality? I’d love to know. I’d even feature you in a blog post if your story is (A: true) and (B: awesome). Until then, leave a synopsis of what happened in the comments…
What kind of messed up world do we live in where it’s become socially unacceptable to get upset?
Emotions are like gas prices, there is a cost of getting gas – and a cost of NOT getting gas. photo by andlynx on sxc.hu
We’ve been taught that it is a sign of weakness to throw a tantrum and express our frustrations. And there are times and places where that’s true. But have we become so proud of our ability to hold it in that we take it too far?
If young men die and children bleed, does shrugging our shoulders at it make us feel cool?
If we’re spied on 24/7, and someone calls it like it is – do we rationalize why they should have kept their head down?
At age 12, I went to middle school for the first time. I was elated to hang out with the same kids I knew from church my whole life. We hung out every weekend, spent the night at each others houses, played Playstation till midnight, and slashed through the woods with sticks pretending they were swords.
But the environment was different at school. The game had changed, and everyone knew it but me. It was there I first discovered that people can be dishonest to themselves in order to please others.
Your weekend friends might not be the same as your school friends.
That’s not to say I was perfect. I was a pretty selfish son of a mother. While I don’t take responsibility for things I never could have known about, I do take full responsibility for learning as much as possible so that I can understand social pressures and relationships.
For about 6 months, I was pretty much an exile. I had one friend from elementary school, and he kept to himself. Thank God for J.R.R. Tolkien, Brian Jacques, and countless other writers whose books kept me alive when I had nothing to look forward to.
In all those stories, there was evil running rampant. It was easy to see who to root for. While real life isn’t always that easy, what happens when we run into a moral grey area? We’ve been taught not to get angry, not to get upset.
At home, I couldn’t even grunt at something without an angry parent warning me ‘Don’t you dare show anger in this house’.
A blogger was born.
Ignoring Emotions Makes You Weak
Anger is a symptom. Happiness is a symptom. Bliss is a symptom. They shouldn’t cause us to react, but emotions are often what causes us to do anything worth doing.
Without curiosity, who would visit other countries?
Without fear of loss. who would work to develop a cure for a terrible disease?
Without happiness, how do we know what to replicate in our lives on a daily basis?
We’ve been taught that emotions are the enemy, when they may be the very thing that allow us to stand up and face real enemies. Managing emotions isn’t the same as denying them. Ignoring a warning sign in your soul doesn’t make you strong.
We live in a world crafted to ignore emotions.
When the boss wants twenty widgets produced an hour, he can’t allow for such foolish things as desperation, giddiness, or shame – so he acts like you’re weak because you see – and feel – that two plus two equals four. Don’t expect him to say he’s sorry, he’s spent so long believing that ‘sorry’ doesn’t exist, that he’s drunk on his own juice box.
Pity him. He’s found great influence with words and wealth, but lost his humanity.
Emotions Can Cut Through the Lies
Just because someone else is more eloquent than us, that doesn’t make them right.
Just because the discussion has been framed for us – so we can’t see outside of the perspectives being taught – that doesn’t mean that we should let ‘experts’ make the tough decisions on our behalf.
Just because there’s nothing ‘they’ can do, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do.
Normally I try to write something really useful – a how to kind of thing. Something that’s really practical, and makes your life better. If you’re still reading this, you may be thinking of your own emotions, and you may be feeling some guilt.
That boss who wants twenty widgets an hour? He may have been permanently imprinted onto your mind. He’s pissed right now, because emotions make things inconsistent, they mess up your schedule, and short-circuit your deadlines. He wants you to get six hours sleep tonight instead of eight, so you can make up for your outburst – your imperfection.
Screw him.
Those imperfections may be the only real reason for doing anything productive at all. They may be the only thing between you and slavery. They may be what causes you to reject the grey area, and turn it white as snow.
Negative Emotions Can Make You Very Creative, But…
I’m only happen when it rains. – Garbage (the band)
Rain Texture by ShadowRave at sxc.hu
Negative emotions can be a great source of inspiration. The very first written stories in Greek plays were classified as Comedies and Tragedies. A famous example is when a man becomes king only later to realize that he had killed his own father and married his mother in the process (Oedipus Rex).
For all the good news that is in the Bible, there are also quite a few stories that end in tragedy, like the relationship between John the Baptist and Herod.
Clearly, negative emotions can be a great source of creativity.
Tragedies let us know not to go down a wrong path. They highlight the dangers of a ineffective mindset.
There is a difference, however, between negative emotions and the victim mentality.
It starts with the difference between thinking and dwelling. Thinking is productive – we can create when we are thinking. After the grieving process, we can illustrate how terrible events can benefit our future actions and thoughts.
Dwelling, on the other hand, gets you nowhere. When we start to dwell on negativity, it is easy to move into a victim place. When that happens, our creativity suffers.
The Benefits of A Victim Mentality
What does the victim mentality do? It makes you the center of the universe – a universe you don’t even want to be in.
It takes a great level of intelligence to maintain a thinking process as stupid as this. Because it is such a great undertaking, we take pride in it. It highlights our intellect. Too bad it also highlights our lack of wisdom.
For all our twisting, wringing, stretching, and stuffing, we only contort ourselves.
If you are the center of your universe, it is difficult to write from the perspective of a different person. It is nearly impossible to keep in mind how somebody else will consider your work.
It is seductive. Why? Because we not only make ourselves the center of the universe – we also twist everything around us to show how unrelated events are a direct attack on ourselves.
To preserve our sense of self, we may even stop creating anything meaningful because ‘nobody will care or understand it’.
Creatives Have MAJOR Problems With This
If your job is to create things, and you only succeed when you are brilliant, you are going to face a lot of rejection. Most of it will sound like “Sorry, but this isn’t for us.” OR “Give me a business card and we’ll stay in touch.”
Other times it will be much harsher. Something you thought was smart didn’t connect, and people will tell you so.
It will even be cruel! Critics only get attention when they say controversial things, so you will often hear a critic say something disparaging about you just to get eyeballs, or say you’re old news just because they want to look cool in front of their hipster friends.
So there is this desire for self-preservation – to not do anything that rocks the boat.
Yet most of the rewards go to the risk takers, and most of the people brave or stupid enough to take the plunge won’t get the results they desire the first time, the second time, or even the tenth.
You will not take risks if you are in the victim mentality. As a result, victim thinking gets you nowhere as a creative.
This may be obvious on the surface, but if it cuts your time dwelling in the victim space by even 10%, you’re life will be changed.
Maybe it’s time to get into a different universe.
Has victim thinking ever held you back from doing what you know you need to do? Let me know in the comments below!
Critics hammer this trend, perhaps because ‘any publicity is good publicity’, and they want it to continue. Others hate it because it appears to reflect that we as a culture are obsessed with disease, decay, death, and destruction. I agree, but we’re not going to go into that right now.
The Walking, Living, 28 Days, Dawn-of-the-Shawn-of-the-Legend, Evil Dead
What came out of our obsession with zombies is the self help section that has swelled with useful guides to surviving the zombies.
But zombies do not exist, you say? Not in the literal sense…
True, but zombies represent an idea: the idea that all the systems of human decency, infrastructure, and survival have great flaws. If any of these flaws are exploited, many of us would be in danger. It matters less that this danger comes from a fictitious undead monster, and more that people are now talking about what they should do if the things we rely on every day become unreliable.
Scoff all you want about zombies. They may not be real, but operant conditioning is real. Black swans can occur. And it is worth our time to consider how they would affect our lives.
Operant Conditioning
You write a headline, and it does really well.
You buy flowers for your date, and she loves them.
You ask a question at an appointment, and the ensuing conversation leads to a sale.
What do we do after these things happen?
More of the same.
Why?
If we want the same results on a consistent basis, we’ll keep doing the activities that led to those results.
Most of the time, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s how we get good manners, make friends, and provide for our families.
It’s called operant conditioning – a method of learning that occurs through rewards and punishments for behavior. Through operant conditioning, an association is made between a behavior and a consequence for that behavior.
And I have a confession to make: when I figure out how to make the most entertaining, moving, and inspirational stories out there, I’ll probably keep doing it.
The Dark Cloud of Operant Conditioning
Whenever you need groceries, you go to the store. Because that’s where the food is.
Imagine: one day you go to the store, and there aren’t any groceries – at any of the stores.
Your life is in immediate danger. In this hypothetical scenario, you may figure something out, even if it takes a few months to find a consistent source of food. When that source is secured, operant conditioning will cause you to make that your new ‘grocery store’. When you need food, you’ll go to that ‘store’ instead, whether that’s a farmers’ market, a neighbors ranch, eating shrubbery in the woods, or growing your own food.
If you bought flowers for your wife every day, expecting an outpouring of love and affection every time, then you are setting a very unrealistic expectation.
Eventually, to get those results, you will have to do something different: A special date night, vacation, taking care of the kids for a night so she can have time to herself, compliments – you’ll do something different to show that you care.
Clearly, operant conditioning, in an activity-to-results scenario, is flawed. At the same time, we have to do what works, or our lives will be a constant state of panic. Life experience has to count for something. We don’t have time to reinvent the wheel every single day with everything.
Operant conditioning isn’t going away.
Systems Will Save Your Life
So, how do we use operant conditioning in a way that makes us less vulnerable to big changes?
We use systems.
Once you find that your spouse’s primary love language is Quality Time, you’ll use a system to find things to do that he’ll like where you can spend time together, instead of just watching a movie once a week.
If you’re really worried about the grocery store conundrum, you’ll have two month’s supply of storable food and maybe a small garden where you can brush up your skills on growing your own food in just a few minutes a day. You can still go to the store, and it’s possible that no problems will ever occur. If something bad does happen, though, you have a system that deals with that sort of thing.
Instead of just making a list-style headline (5 ways to drive your boss crazy) for your blog, you’ll learn about a system that uses proven principles, like the 4-U’s of effective headlines. From there, you can create with very little fear.
In my own writing, I have a system for putting together stories. While it changes a little with each project, the foundation is pretty much the same. I’m now looking for a similar system for Editing and Rewriting.
Operant conditioning is your friend only if you use it on systems, rather than attaching it to specific actions. When you have good systems in place, you are free to repeat whatever works best for you – this time with the confidence that you’ve planned for any unexpected changes.
How have you changed how you live or work to prepare for the unexpected? Let me know in the comments!
metal confusion 1 by shho at sxc.hu Connecting is easy, but does it cause more problems than it solves?
This is all opinion here, so maybe it will help. If not, tell me I’m wrong…
There is a popular admonition in advertising: If you cannot describe a product without referencing another product, your idea isn’t going to work.
Referencing another product is something I like to call Anchoring.
If what you’re trying to promote isn’t much different from what’s out there, perhaps it’s a product creation problem and not a marketing problem?
Sometimes though, cannot make that choice. You’re an advisor, copywriter, or account executive hired by someone else who hasn’t gone through the product generation process with your level of clarity. If your product is just like another, more popular product, it’s going to be hard to promote it in a unique way.
[polldaddy poll=7119602]
So you have to find an answer and can’t tell them to choose something different. If that’s the case, is it a bad thing to reference another product? Is it a sin 100% of the time?
Let’s go to the movies…
It’s like this, but with [Unique Twist]
Movie lovers do this constantly.
What is Avatar? Pocahontas in space.
The Last Samurai? Pocahontas in Japan.
Dances With Wolves? Pocahontas, but with Sioux Natives instead of Algonquians.
Some of these examples are spot on, some only contain a few major plot links. Oddly enough, I love all three of those movies, but dislike Pocahontas (not the person, though she always cheated me at Bridge).
You’re opening yourself up to a great risk with movies by presenting them like this.
The Real Risk in Anchoring your Idea to Another Idea
Where is the risk? Whether or not the development executive or audience member LIKES the referenced product.
If a development executive lost 50 million dollars marketing Pocahontas, and you were trying to get Avatar made, Avatar would not get funding if you pitched it as Pocahontas, but with a larger production budget.
If you promoted it as The Last Samurai – in space, and an audience member loved The Last Samurai, and science fiction, then he’ll see the movie.
This risk is removed if you know beforehand if your target audience likes similar ideas and products. If they do, you can take advantage of that mojo. Especially if the product is not a physical thing, but an experience.
Experience-based products and services can benefit a lot by anchoring.
Lotion makes your skin feel like silk.
Vacationing in the French Riviera is reserved for only the most noble of royal families (and we welcome you and your sweet tourist money).
Pierogies are as decadent as a fine alfredo pasta, but with potatoes and cream added in.
Other Foreseeable Risks
Homogenous Market Products – Products that exist solely for practical reasons, are best presented without referencing a competitor that the target audience already uses. Now you’re trying to convince them to switch, and that’s not easy – why make it harder by reminding them of what they already use?
The Different / Dependable Conundrum – If you rely on something, and have for a long time, why take a chance on something new?
Is this helpful? I wanna know! Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Have you ever caught yourself believing in an idea about yourself that wasn’t true?
Usually this happens right after you’ve suffered from the results of that lie:
Low self esteem
Feelings of being trapped
Seeing yourself as invulnerable to temptation, greed, or deception, etc.
The loss of a key relationship, job, friendship, opportunity
After several days/weeks/months of slogging through emotional mud, we gain enough distance to see that – yep, we’ve been duped. Sold a bill of bad goods. Pulled the itchy wool over our own eyes.
And in hindsight, this didn’t need to happen. But then it happens again, and again, and again. Our brain is the Energizer Bunny of lies.
Why does this happen? How can we change our beliefs and be stronger people?
In this post, we’ll explore the topic together.
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A Christian Author’s Guide to Telling a Lie
How to tell a lie and get away with it?
By believing it yourself.
1. You take an event, and give it meaning.
For the first 16-26 years of our lives, other people gave meaning to our events for us. Teachers tell us whether we’re smart or hard working based on whether we did our homework, or what grade we got. Parents discipline us based on how bad they believe we screwed up, or even how they feel about life at that moment.
“As soon as you’re born, they make you feel small.” – John Lennon
Back then, you didn’t have the tools, skills, or awareness to separate truth from falsehood. None of us did. Is it fair that these scripted moments serve as the foundation for our self esteem? No.
Don’t use this as an excuse to stay where you are. Instead, take this chance to remove any self-loathing you may have about being deceived.
2. Then, we find events and line them up with the story we already believe.
I don’t love watching the news. Instead, I love is watching other people watch the news. It’s more entertaining, and often more informative.
Why? Wolf Blitzer, Rachel Maddow, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck – familiar names if you live in the U.S. – they deliver information and build their audience based on what a lot of people already believe, or want to believe. Their reporting is fused with predetermined context, and people keep watching because they experience a wide range of emotions all relating to – and challenging – their own belief systems.
the white house by emitea at sxc.hu
What is ‘America’?
What does it mean to have ‘good values’?
‘Who’ is ‘trying to destroy’ the country?
What ‘realistic answers’ can be offered to ‘improve our national situation’?
Each of these carry their own meanings to different people. When we see a barrage of events, one after another – we line them up according to our confirmation biases.
Confirmation bias – a process where we search for and interpret information that confirms what we already believe. Here is an article on science daily if you want more info about it.
Take an event, like a solar eclipse. Australians are lucky because today they can see one. Here’s an extreme example of solar eclipses that has been used in nearly every medieval time travel film: “If you kill me, I will blot out the sun with my great powers! [cue solar eclipse, the villagers free the hero] Okay, I will return to you the sun!”
This gambit worked because people back then had strong beliefs about solar eclipses being tied to magic, curses, etc. The Aztecs believed that they needed to make human sacrifices during an eclipse or else their god would remove the sun forever. Yikes!
So let’s bring the confirmation bias down to your day-to-day reality:
You may believe you have no value as a human being, as a character does in my book. If you do, when something happens that is neither good or bad – you will take that event and use your confirmation bias to strengthen the idea that you have no value.
Too many red-lights at intersections on your way to the store. Why does this always happen when I’m in a hurry?
Your teenage son wants to spend time out with friends rather than stay home on the weekend. Not even my own son cares about me!
Someone tells you that they fell asleep during your presentation. I’m a terrible speaker. Or, I’m wasting my time talking to these ingrates!
If something fantastic happens, you won’t cherish and enjoy it.
Instead:
you’ll brace for impact, because this relationship was too good to last anyway.
hedge your bets, because you’re bad at selling and need something more concrete.
You’ll stay emotionally detached, so you won’t risk rejection or failure.
Or you may even resent a challenge to your belief system. How dare someone actually want to help me? What did I do for them? They just want to use me later!
3. Until finally, You actually believe the lie.
Then it’s easy to tell a lie to yourself. That’s right, the best way to tell a lie is to actually believe it – 100%.
Of course, if it’s a lie, then we’re deceiving ourselves, and we never really ‘get away’ with it.
With that in mind, how many lies to we all tell, without even knowing it?!
Stepping Stones to Truth
stepping stones by dunkst3r on sxc.hu
First of all, recognize that for much of your life, you didn’t have the awareness or skills needed to know this information. Most of the lies are not your fault.
They are IN you, but they AREN’T you.
Now you can do something about it. In my third book (affiliate link), life coach Brian Shaul and I devote an entire section to changing your thought patterns. I recommend you check it out. Until then, here’s something you can use to get started.
Pay attention to your thoughts. If you can, write them down. A good question to ask in any situation where you feel nervous, weak, or scared is: why do you feel scared?
When your brain gives you reasons, write those down too.
Are those legitimate reasons? Not an easy question to answer. Here are some questions that may spark some insight into this:
Who told you this reason first?
What event did they use to build on that story?
Did this person have anything to gain by telling you this?
Were they relying on you for things they shouldn’t have?
Were they denying their own ability to be responsible for their emotions and actions?
Did this interpretation or story help you? Maybe it did for a time, but that time has passed and it’s time for change.
If that story didn’t help you, write down a different meaning to the story based upon what you now know.
Start telling yourself the new story. Here’s the fun part. The next time you’re in the emotional throes of a life event, you’ll snap out of it and realize: this is an opportunity to shape your belief systems.
But how do you know whether something is true?
Too big an answer for just this blog post. The short version for me is in John 8:32
‘the truth will set you free’
Lies are designed to trap you – to give control of your life over to something else that’s not worth even touching. If you come out of this exercise with your brain being filled with ideas of what you can do to improve your situation, have better relationships, less fear, and greater love, then you’re on the right path.
Will I ever be done with this?
This is a lifelong quest. If you aren’t dead, then you’re not done. We are never 100% in truth – all we can do is live our lives in closer to truth than we had the day before. Do that enough times, and things will get better.
The best strategy of all: If you want to get out of a lie, find ways to get feedback from other people. The best feedback will come from trustworthy people who don’t have anything to gain or lose by reinforcing a false belief. Accountability will sting sometimes, but that small sting is nothing compared to a lifetime of being trapped.
