It seems that people who have completely given up on achieving their goals – who’ve thrown in the towel when it comes to making plans – those people have the greatest faith. Or the worst.

I’ve always been the type of person who doesn’t really care about survival. Getting to the next month in the same situation I was in before is a real turn off. As long as the status quo sucks, why would I care about keeping things the way they are?

What do I care about? Thrival.

Don’t know if that’s even a word, but you can probably tell what it means.

It’s “survival +1 or more”.

I cared more about getting to Austin and living here than anything in the world. Career-wise, I have been let down more than Tyrion fans who frantically flip through Feast for Crows for another chapter about their favorite japing imp.

That was some weak sauce, George RR Martin. No Daenarys, No Tyrion, and only 2 chapters about Arya? I’m tempted to just skip this book.

What about the people who set goals and actually achieve them? Are they just lucky, or is it because their faith is simply better than mine.

Either way, I may have to move out of Texas to continue pursuing a career in writing. There’s another job opportunity that I’m looking at, and if things go well there, it may only take me – 5 years – before I can move back to the land I love. The job is not a writing job, but it will allow me to pour an extra 20 hours per week into making the best damn stories possible.

The exception is if something different happens in the next 2.5-7 weeks – something that hasn’t happened in the last 120 weeks or so. If I knew what to do differently, I’d do it.

Not trying to complain. I’ll do well no matter where I go, but I just don’t want to go anywhere else.

Have you succeeded at the goals you care about the most? If you’re a Christian, how did you keep the faith when you were down?

Liberating Graduation From University - photo by mattosaur4 on sxc.hu

Graduation – if nothing else – closes one chapter and opens another.

It took about five months to finish three semesters’ worth of college.

This is why I haven’t done a lot of blog posts.

As someone who went to State, Private, and Online Accredited Universities, the online option was just as challenging as regular university. The difference? No wasted time whatsoever. And trust me, a lot of time is wasted in a classroom environment.

How can you do 47 credit hours in just five months? It’s easily possible in several steps:

1. 80/20. Most of your results will come from 20% of your activities. If you know how your mind works, you can utilize the tools that work best for you to apply the information.

NOTE: another bonus of the 80/20 principle:  It only takes a bit of time to learn 80% of the material. Then, an equal amount of time to get the next 16% or so. Same again for the last 4%. This is true for any job, learning any language, and knowing how to play the guitar. Knowing when you’ve got most of it allows you to test out of classes. It takes a lot of work, but things get done so much faster.

2. Model effective people.

I found the system that worked best for my unique situation (Online). Then I modeled someone who had a career, AND a family, and managed to get 128 credits done in 6 months!

(NOTE: Much of this comes from the fact that she’s already accomplished in her field, so she may not have to study like the rest of us. Still, the point applies.)

3. Once you know how long it takes to do each type of course, plot out deadlines for each course that are do-able, but still challenge you.

4. Lastly, dedicate an uninterrupted block of time to complete each deliverable that contributes the most to your ability to understand the material that matters. Do this every day.

But what about the Stories?

Yeah, this is a non-writerly post. But I’m putting it up anyway because many people find it intimidating to finish their degree. By any other system that would not let me apply what I already know, it would have taken a year and a half. Now it took 5 months.

Now back to the writing. My second screenplay will be finished by Friday, then it’s back to the Novel. I plan on producing a lot of great stuff in the coming year. Stay tuned.

EB SS B1Thanks for visiting my page.

If you’re looking to take advantage of the book promo – here is a link to Emotionally Bulletproof on Amazon. Kindle users get it free until Friday 14th. You heard me, free.

It’s a fast read, with enough action to keep things going without detracting from it’s purpose, to sharpen your skills in trust. Who knows what doors will open in your life just by being aware of what you want.

A better world begins with you, me, and all of us.

In the meantime…

Look around the site, read the posts if they strike your fancy, and try not to tease the T-Rex in my basement – he has self confidence issues.

Thanks to Francois Pointeau for his never ending search for great content, and for LaLove Robinson for her being a dynamic Co-Guest. Check out her poetry slam at WoWPS if you dig women who rhyme – at least some of the time.

 

fuse box by ortonesque on sxc.hu

But If I Flip A Switch, Will Lights Come On?

You want to be trustworthy. Being honest is a part of that, but if you go too far to PROVE that you’re honest, you may come across as scummy. You don’t want to do that.

***

A mumbling mechanic tried his best to explain, but I just left angry.

The Honda Civic I was driving needed fixing, and it was going to cost a lot. When I asked him a simple question: “is the car drivable without doing this?”, he gave me his answer.

“Well…mumble mumble needs to mumble mumble, then mumble your mumble.”

I didn’t want anyone going near my mumble.

If someone who can speak clearly starts to avoid doing so, then they are likely hiding something.

Speaking Clearly Communicates Trust

The lesson was clear. By explaining things in a step-by-step manner, you will make people more comfortable when they do business with you.

But Can It Go Too Far?

Like any new lesson, I went overboard with it. The more I explained, the more honest I was – or so I thought.

In my last job, I helped businesses take credit cards without being charged a high fee.  My job was to help business owners lower their costs by switching to us.

One client, a merchant who sold products online, was going to work with a better-known competitor. Thanks to some persistence, and constant reassurance of what we could do, he went with us instead.

Two days later, he gave us a call asking what was going on?

We told him during the appointment that it would take three days to get up and running.

I tried to reassure him, explaining the step-by-step process of how it worked.

“Well, your account is created, but until you update your website with your business address and an about page, it is in probation status. We’ll send you an email with instructions this afternoon so it will get out of probation and into active-approved status.”

It seems simple here, but this was explained in a 30-minute phone call filled with intense back and forth.

He became furious.

I thought I was doing him a favor. Instead, I confused him with details that didn’t matter.

He fell victim to over-disclosure.

Too Much Explaining Creates Doubt

If I am going to shake someone’s hand, and I have clean hands, do I need to explain how I washed my hands, and the previous two days’ history of what I touched? No, because it does nothing but weigh the other person down with details that don’t matter.

So what would I have done different?

“Your account is created. Like I said, you’re on day two of three in your set-up. This afternoon, you’ll get an email with instructions on how to turn it all on and get the service up. Then tomorrow you can start taking customers.”

The more you explain things that don’t hold much meaning for a person’s life, the more you prolong their frustration. They see that you’re not giving them a straight answer, when in reality your response is straight, but a little heavy. It makes them feel like you are being dishonest, even though you aren’t. The effect is no different than if you mumble when explaining a car problem to the car owner.

Does it drive? Yes, it will tomorrow.

campus life by bcnunnery on sxc.hu

University of Texas at Austin

Hundred of people apply to the Radio-Film-TV program at University of Texas every year.

Many of them do this because they want to learn to direct.

Hopefully, whether they get in or not, they will learn the real truth about valuable skills: It doesn’t work that way.

Directing is not a skill. It is a combination of skills.

A novice can look at Face/Off and think, ‘Man, I could never direct like John Woo. He is SO much better than I’ll ever be.’

Directing is not just directing. It is audio recording, cinematography, writing, storytelling, location scouting, organizational leadership, scheduling, human resources, set design, shot choices, editing, special effects, lighting. I could go on.

If you were asked to direct, it could put you in panic mode.

However, if I asked you to read a book about writing, and you learned that most plots have a three-act structure, you’d be better at writing stories.

If you spent a day on an independent film set listening to a sound engineer, hearing her explain that you have to record a few takes of background noise on each shooting location, to mix into the movie later when all you have are the recorded voices and a soundtrack, you’d know more than before.

You’d be that much better at sound recording.

So, since you just got better at writing and sound recording, and those two skills make up the multi-disciplined craft of directing, you became a better director. It’s still scary, but you closed the gap – just a little bit.

Advertising and marketing is no different. There are multiple skills involved.

  • Being a team player
  • Coming up with ideas
  • Determining which ideas have enough merit to pursue
  • Developing those ideas
  • Working with the client (especially if you own your own agency or are an account exec)

You may even need to know CRM, Graphic Design, Market Research, A/B testing… AAAH!!

If you get anything out of this post, it should be this: If you find yourself paralyzed with how much farther you have to go in order to achieve your true calling, break that calling down into chunks small enough to handle.

I am no expert blogger, but if you combine this blog with an earlier blog, and some freelance posts I’ve done helping other businesses, I’ve written over 100 posts! A few years ago, I didn’t think I’d get that far. And I know I’ve got a long way to go!

So you do. So break it down, and do what you can in a few days, or a week.

See you later.

ferocious little cat by boogy_man at sxc.hu

Requisite cat image. Bring it on, web traffic!

Do you want to change yourself? If so, you look to examples of other people who have. Some of these people don’t exist, but they are real to you anyway.

That’s right, I’m talking about books, movies, videogames, and stories of all kinds.

Most big stories involve character change. We recognize that change is a part of life – a part of life that should be handled as intentionally as possible.

There are 3 layers to characters. They mirror reality in how well we know the men and women who pass by and interact with us each day. I’ll give examples for each to show how simple, yet deep, this is.

1. One Dimensional – Just the facts.

Do I really need to describe it when I can just show you instead?

I am a writer and I write. The butcher chops meat. The student studies. The jock wrestles varsity in the heavyweight class.

2. Two Dimensional – There is a reason behind the action.

Everybody does what they do for a reason.

I am a cop because my father was a cop. I start businesses to make a profit because I grew up in a poor household, and don’t want my family to suffer like I did. I volunteer at a homeless shelter because I want to help those who have nothing.

3. Three-Dimensional – There is a purpose that justifies my reasoning.

Now you’re getting somewhere. Now we not only see the reason behind the action, but the reason for the reason. At this level, you start to really know/love/hate a person.

I bribe people to pass laws that favor me because I don’t want any competition – I am afraid that if other people could compete on the same level as me, the world would find out that I’m not really that smart/wise/creative/competent/superior-by-birth.

I start businesses to make a profit because I don’t want my family to grow up poor like I did – because being trapped and powerless is scarier than death, and I would not wish it on anyone.

I read the Bible every day, even though it sometimes confuses me, because I realize the Being who cares more for me than anyone else is God; pursuing the only relationship that really matters will bring the most fulfillment.

It’s the key to great heroes and villains.

We don’t have time to give every person on the street three dimensions. Way too much to keep track of. Somewhere in an underground base, a government computer is short-circuiting.

Nor can stories have all three dimensional characters, at least not without it being a very small world (Tom Hanks in Castaway is a good example). We need first, second, and third dimension characters.

In the end, the story is about the third-dimensional character. That’s the guy with the sword who we identify with. That’s the lady with the bow and arrow.

The problem is that we often don’t allocate the time to see our own selves as three dimensional characters. Yet we absolutely must if we want to experience the same level of change that we see as necessary – and crave in our favorite stories.

Change is Good

For a long time, psychology treated these underlying our motivations as tracks that have already been laid by past experiences. They couldn’t be changed. While it’s true that we can’t undo the past, it is a lie to believe that what happened to you in the past will shape and determine the rest of your life.

Many of the great stories either involve a hero accomplishing his goal despite everything set against them, or a character who goes through a change.

The deeper the change, the more powerful your story.

So What About You?

Think back to the last time you made a mistake with your job. If you’re anything like me, you don’t have to think back too far. 🙂

First dimension: What did you do?

Second dimension: Why did you do it?

Third dimension: Why was your answer in the second dimension so important that you acted out?

Example:

I took 20 minutes with my break instead of 15.

Why? Because the boss makes me work later.

Why do you think he’s making you work later? Because I’m too afraid to say no to her. What if I get fired?!

So, in this example, taking a longer break would allow you to express just enough discontent to not get fired, but enough to vent your frustrations and feel like you’re getting SOME of your time back. Right?

If you had a character in a book that did this, and the author articulated exactly why they did it, you would totally understand and relate. You’d read on to know more about this character even if nothing has happened yet.

By understanding the deeper motivations, and then choosing to script your own deeper motivation, you’ll become more effective.

Eventually, you’ll come to the conclusion that you need to establish some boundaries, but in a helpful and tactful way. And if getting fired is still a concern, then you’ll ask why and learn that IF you get fired – yes – it will suck. But you know what? If you’re tough enough to have a difficult conversation with your boss, you’re also tough enough to find a better job. Chances are, it won’t even get that far anyway.

The Third Dimension is Tough!

You’ll look in the wrong places. You’ll probably have to think. You may even need to talk it over with trusted advisers or friends. In my opinion, that’s what trusted advisers are for.

When you find a better third dimension, you’ll have a better second dimension, and therefore, you’ll take more effective actions.

In the end, your own life will be a story worth telling.

Have you ever seen yourself as a third dimensional character? How do you think it will change the way you interact with the world around you? Let me know in the comments!

On Target by LarryLens at sxc.hu

On Target by LarryLens at sxc.hu

You may have noticed that the people who need to learn something the most are the ones least interested in learning it.

The common phrase you’ll hear if promote your helpful idea to them?

“Yeah, I really Should Do That…”

If you hear this phrase, you’ve missed the mark. Sure, you’ve identified a need, and the people who have that need, but just because you’ve set up an archery target facing East, that doesn’t mean pointing your bow and arrow East will guarantee a hit. You’ve got to aim better.

How do we do that?

Let’s look at spirituality, where I’ll ask you a controversial question:

Who needs God the least?

It’s a trick question, because everyone needs God. If you read my blog, you’ve likely come to a similar conclusion.

In the Bible, it does mention those who THINK they need God the least:

“You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” Revelation 3:17 NIV

Most of the People Who Need Your Product Don’t Care

Those who believe they have it all are less likely to seek answers. If you think you’re healthy, why would you go to the doctor? This is why Jesus mainly took his message to those who were down and out.

This idea may change the way you see marketing and product design forever. It may even change the way you teach others.

Most the people you want to reach won’t give a damn what you have to offer them.

They’ll walk right past it because they are focused on something else.

  • Most people don’t buy batteries until their flashlight runs out of power.
  • Most people don’t buy candy until they are about to check out of the supermarket.
  • And they won’t buy something to drink unless they are thirsty.

Since most people won’t be ready to take advantage of your world changing idea, you need to focus on the small chunk of people who are desperate.

Focus on the Desperate People

Desperate people need answers, and they need them NOW.

So focus on them, and make sure you that you help solve their problem better than any other product out there.

There are many people who recognize that they are pitiful, poor, blink, and naked in some area. They’ll invest in something that will help them.

But Will You Run Out of Desperate People?

As long as the problem exists, people will always need a solution. So, in most cases, no.

There is a cycle that your market will go through.

  • I need it but I don’t care
  • I really should get it, but [insert objection here]
  • CATASTROPHE/Reflection
  • I’ll listen and buy in

Each phase in the cycle has a large group of people. Once you’ve helped the ‘I’ll listen’ folks, the people who are reflecting on a recent catastrophe will realize they need what you have.

By the time every group has moved to ‘I’ll listen’, your cycle will be refreshed with new people.

Don’t spend your energy on those who don’t care.

And unless there’s no other way, don’t prey on people right after a catastrophe, because that demonstrates that you value being right over actually solving their problems.

Focus on those who are ready. You’ll gain traction, and get enough positive feedback to stay in business until you reach the other people. By then, you’ve built word of mouth, you have a brand, and you’ve positioned yourself.

You’re the first person they’ll go to, and you’ll change the world, just like you wanted to.

2-bed, 1.5 bath, lovely view if you can do a handstand.

Fear can come from out of nowhere.

Last month I got a letter from my landlord – one of these big impersonal companies that has many apartment complexes. For all I know, the person who owns it all might not even be from Texas, or the U.S.

In the letter, it said that I can choose my rent price.

The problem? All their options were at least $50 per month more than what I was currently paying.

Fear struck.

Fear? Why now? I’ve moved eight times since 2008. Multiple states, and at least 3 countries. Why would I be scared of a simple move now?

In the middle of my freaking out, I took this opportunity to apply what was written in this previous post.

Get more information to understand the problem –

– and get moving.

Austin is a bubble of craziness in America. It’s one of the few real estate markets in the U.S. that continues to ignore the Wall Street Journal and MSNBC – the housing market keeps going up, up, up. Even after the recession, Austin’s population grows faster than contractors can build. How was I going to keep prices low, and have a story completely different than the one being told for me?

With my delivery job, I had visited nearly every apartment complex in a 5 mile radius – many times. Combine that with my past experience being a Realtor, and my business education, and I was someone who could actually do something. Maybe it wouldn’t be much, but it might be enough.

I visited several apartment complexes and got quotes. Most of them were higher than what I was paying. Then I found two – both were closer to town.

One was over 100 sq feet less than what I currently had.

The other?  superior in every way. I got on the waiting list for this one and then attempted to renegotiate with my landlord.

The landlord had an assistant who had zero business experience. You could see it in the way he carried himself. He was four to five rungs down in this big, plastic ladder.

I remembered the whole time to keep my cool, be polite, avoid ultimatums. I even offered to pay multiple months of rent in advance as leverage.

He pulled market pricing excuses (which were hard to cross reference, where did he get this info?) then looked at this big 3-ring binder filled with Excel spreadsheets. Then he countered to raise my rent a hundred dollars higher than the increased price their letter started with.

Bad negotiating.

You could say I ‘lost’. Sometimes a system is structured so you end up ‘negotiating’ with someone who doesn’t have the ‘authority’ to do anything. So many people are ‘just doing their job’ in a compartmentalized existence for faceless brand symbols pursuing false idols, leaving real human beings exposed to the damage left behind…but I digress.

By getting on a waiting list earlier, and not waiting until the last minute – I had options baby!

I signed a lease yesterday with one that will actually cost around 40 dollars LESS per month than what I’m already paying. It’s closer to town, is in a gated community, and has larger square footage. Combine that with the 50$ price increase I would have paid, I saved around 800$, including moving expenses.

Lucky? Maybe. But if I hadn’t reached out for more information, and if I hadn’t continued to take small steps forward, no amount of luck in the world would have made a difference.

So I lost the negotiation, but beat the victim mentality and got what I wanted. A way to keep costs down and continue to build momentum in a place I enjoy living.

Have you had any victories against the victim mentality? I’d love to know. I’d even feature you in a blog post if your story is (A: true) and (B: awesome). Until then, leave a synopsis of what happened in the comments…

In this fiction interview, a woman tells her story of how she risked her career and her future to rescue her ex-boyfriend from a mental hospital.

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Rant on emotions – they may mess with your plans…yet they may be the only reason why you have plans at all.

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